Dear Matt [+Bonus Blog]

Introduction

Hello, readers. This Blog is an odd one. It comes in two parts; the first being a "letter" of-sorts to someone, which I wrote prior to their Birthday, but am only now posting after their Birthday has passed, and after several weeks of breathing exercises and courage gathering; the second being the originally composed Blog post, dated December 22nd, 2018. Yes, I have been working on writing this for that long... So, without further-ado... [forewarning: this post is longer than a lot of others]

The Once And Future Illisia: aka You CAN Learn Confidence In The Classroom aka DWP Are Not The Enemy

I got an influx of worried and surprised messages after I
posted this on Facebook, because of how out-of-character it is
for me to show so much skin in public. "What happened?!
How are you so confident all of a sudden?" etc,
Well, let me explain how, below... :-) 

Note: The course was two months ago, now.

So, before I post the long and painful-to-write, emotional rollercoaster of a Blog post that I have “aaaaalmost finished” (every week for the past several months...), I want to share with you a nice, big dose of positivity; because this-time-two-months-ago, I was, well... How to describe it, really(?)... If I had posted the really sad post, it would be easier to describe, but let’s just go with “A MESS”, and leave-it-at-that, for now.

Fast-forward a month from that miserable Illisia, and I am semi-regularly going-out alone, filing to make GEEKETEERS (something which, again, I am super-sorry that I have not posted about yet, but, in-short, is me trying to become a legitimate business owner) a business, applying for funding for the aforementioned business, making homemade bread and pasta etc, and even thinking about voluntary work outside of my home, with actual interaction with actual people.

Survivor's Guilt

Hello, dear readers.

I apologise for my absence. It has been a loooong couple-of-months, and a lot has happened; and that is not even including the things that happened before that that I still need to tell you about! But, alas, my heart is "just not-in-it", presently...

I promise that I shall try and write something soon, but, in the meanwhile, here is something a little unconventional... A piece of creative writing that I penned many years ago which I recently re-discovered which shows a lot of insight into my state-of-mind at-the-time. It dates back possibly as far as 2010. You can tell from the writing that I was still very young because I was not "me" yet; using words like "Hell" and "bitch", for instance. The writing is intended as fictional (I have not, for instance, confessed to murder and been on trial for the crime), but the subcontext is very, very apparent.